I kind of miss the old-fashionness of this blog. I might come back.

throw on your break lights we're in the city of wonder.

*Originally posted in Of Vice and Men*

I’m sure people want to know what being a fashion intern means… and like you, I wasn’t even that sure when I applied. I just assumed that I would be surrounded by Alexander Wang, Burberry, Prada and Phillip Lim. Which, I mean, isn’t that far-fetched.

But there’s a lot of stuff that LC, The Hills and MTV forgot to air:

1. There is ALWAYS something to do.
   — Sorry, LC. You don’t just sit around at an Apple computer all day. Each intern is assigned to their own computer or (in some most cases) the interns have to fight over one and wait to use it. You get a company email address to professionally use in emailing PR companies or fashion contacts asking for correct return addresses or help with credit info. But, whether it be reorganizing shoes, the clothing racks or even straightening the hangers, there is always something to do. While I wait for my boss to assign me a new task (she’s usually busy on the phone or sending out emails), I am straightening out the closet, picking up loose papers, filing invoices or taking a quick bathroom break. You really shouldn’t be sitting around doing nothing.
   
2. Have your business email open 24/7.
   — You never know when someone is going to ask you print out 12 different lookbooks (it’s happened!) or take pictures of the new inventory and put it into an Excel spreadsheet or even make a quick in person pick up/return to Cartier. Some people say the office lacks the person-to-person atmosphere by having communication through email, but my opinion is that it’s a lot more efficient… and it’s a lot easier to backtrack or just track in general.
3. There’s not always a token Whitney who asks you questions about whether Brody has a new girlfriend or why BFFL Lo doesn’t like Audrina.
   — I have a great boss who probably, hands down, AMAZING. She’s so sweet, chill and always willing to answer any of my questions. I can’t really speak for all publications, but I know the days before I started, I thought I would not even talk to anyone besides the other intern. Nope! Just today my boss and I talked about how mixing together college friends and hometown/high school friends for a birthday party she threw before was a fail for her. The atmosphere is candid, but everyone is still working while lusting over the same pair of boots from Barneys.
   
4. Lunch is a privilege a waste of time.
   — You don’t get a hour break. It’s usually 30 minutes and you’re sitting in the fashion closet eating… while checking off invoices. Yes, you really don’t have enough time to go out and eat (which was my original impression) but, you can order Wichcraft online and have it delivered!
5. This is a fashion magazine.
   — In this NY Mag article an ex-Vogue intern said, “We had a meeting in the very beginning of the summer and they were like, ‘We’re not going to tell you you have to go buy a whole new wardrobe and buy expensive clothes, but it’s a high-fashion magazine — you should dress the part.’” Look the part. Don’t buy everything from Bergdorfs but invest in classic pieces that you can mix and match to broaden your outfit choices. I’m particularly fond of Michael Kors and Theory! Don’t dress sloppy.
   
6. *** DO NOT ASSUME ANYTHING!!!! ***
   — You can never be too sure about anything.Always double check and ask questions. CLARIFY. Seriously, you’re an intern and even though I’ve lucked out with an amazing (forgiving) boss, I really wouldn’t want to bother her with my mistakes and tiny mess ups that can be prevented with careful review and double checking. Trust me, they’re more than happy to answer your questions! Before I submit a request for a pickup, I always triple check the address, contact info, etcetc. It takes less than 5 minutes to do it and it will probably take 30 minutes to get through to the mailing service to fix your screw up!! So always be careful!

weekend!!

Done with my first week of internship.

Is anyone going to this? And if so, want to meet up and chat? I wasn't planning on going, but thought it was be a fun event to go too and meet new people. Let me know, jesksa@gmail.com!

I'm actually really not sure which blog I want to continue. I feel like everyone uses blogspot right now and it's easier to comment and whatever, but I've already started my tumblr site with stuff. Should I keep separate blogs? One fashion one everything else aka life? The thing is, fashion is life too. Everything is intertwined. DAMNIT!

i don't understand why you would wanna bring me down.

Okay I'm going to admit it. I've been watching the Lohan clan in Living Lohan. First of all, the most recent episode... does Ali seriously carry a Chanel Medallion Tote to high school and not expect people to ridicule her? A little naive, don't you think?

But regardless, I think doing the show was a good idea. Whether Dina Lohan's parenting is actually like that when the cameras aren't in her face... that's besides the point. She's a good mom and their family dynamic is very strong and I think she's doing a good job.

Okay, with that said. Go to the bloomingdale's private sale!! It's amazing.

spock rocker with your dirty eyes.

For you guys who can't get enough Chanel. Lindsay Lohan, Nicky Hilton among others have been spotted wearing the Neon Pink Stretch Spirit Flats ($675). Currently they're on sale for 40% off at Chanel Boutiques nationwide. And on June 9, Saks will discount these babies 33% on top of the already discounted price. They come in patent lime green, patent black, gold, black and other colors.

want them to know what your name is.

80th post!
I really need to figure some things out.
xoxo

do you got a first aid kit handy?

I was bored and switched the background color from black to white my changed my layout. Do you like the white? Or is it too much?

I feel like the black gives it a more serious feel. Like, you know... what I'm saying is more legit/reliable just because the background is black. Maybe it's just a more trustworthy... the color black. What do you think?

I'll test it out and switch back if it sucks.

6:25 pm Saturday. FUCK IT. I like the white right now. So it stays.

sharon stone you sound like a dumbass.

Have you guys seen the video of Sharon Stone being a complete fuck? She outrageously said that the devastating earthquake in China was somehow against their government. "Is that karma?" Yeah, well if you play it that way... I guess the brush fires in LA are because we're too fucking asshole-y. You sound like a dumbass and have no idea what the fuck you are talking about.

It’s ridiculous how ignorant some people can be... let alone people in the public eye’s radar. Get educated or get the fuck out.

If you guys want to donate any money for the relief please do so at Global Giving here.

you cleaned up, found jesus, things are good.

The Purse Forum and applying for internships has taken over my life.

a little bit possessive, little miss obsessive, can't get over it.

summer's been fun. Though, I should have started really early in looking for an internship. But whatevs.

I was supposed to have an interview with Lucky magazine this past Wednesday, but on Tuesday the lady called me saying they hired an employee's cousin. such bullshit. Whatever, I have an interview with In Touch Weekly later this month... and have to hear back from GQ. Wish me luck!

I guess this process and/or my mom's snide comments about me only applying to magazine internships has finally got to me. Sure. Yes. If I do work at a magazine I probably won't be making as much if I was working on wall street or whatever.. But to be honest, working at a magazine seems a hell lot more appealing than watching the clickers at the NYSE go by.

What is more important? Having a closet filled with Louboutins or doing what I truly want to do? I mean. Both equals happiness. And who's to say... sure I'll start making $40,000, but I'll move up? And make more money? I mean. It'll be more fulfilling.

I guess?

five minutes to save the world.

what matters is that you were mine.

So I'm back in New Jersey. So happy. Done with school. Well, except that I'm taking a class over the summer. Whatever. There's so much stuff that I'm looking forward too slash have planned.

1. Get back in shape. No more beer. Or drunk snacking at 3am.
   
2. Fix my iTunes, buy an iPod.
3. Need to go to the city as much as I can and just get lost there.
   
4. SEX AND THE CITY movie!!
   
5. Weeds & Entourage season premiere
6. Start reading again
7. Fly to cali in August to visit some bitches
8. Maintain my tan
9. Play tennis
10. Improve my awesome skills at guitar hero/rock band
    

my best friend leslie said, "she's just being miley."

I don't really understand why everyone is flipping out about Miley Cyrus in Vanity Fair. So what, she's 15? I mean, there's other shit that she could have done, all of which, are even more worse than taking a "picture showing your back."

I mean, I don't think Miley Cyrus really that much of an idol... but then again, I'm not a 12 year old girl who is obsessed with her.

It's a photo, big deal. Disney is pissed that they didn't have any say in this, is what I've come to make out of it. They're angry that they don't have the reins 100% on their superstar.

Sucks.

keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love.

to going against the grain, going insane, going mad.

When I was young, I thought that everything and anything was either right or wrong--you know, black or white. To me, there was no gray, because gray would cause confusion and conflict, and that was just not necessary. Wouldn't the world work like that... where there's only good and bad, and the bad things would know that they're bad?

As I grew older, I realized that this wasn't the case. You know. People have different opinions on what's right. Does the ends justify the means? Does the means justify the ends? Simple things like that.

If you and I don't agree on something, is it my obligation to try to persuade you into believing what I think? Do I owe it to myself or society to make you see my side? Or, does society just rest on knowing that people have different opinions? And doesn't want any more of that. It is just satisfied with that fact?

What's and where's the line?

It came across to me that no one has actually tried to make that part clear, yet.

This place we live in. Bad people don't actually think that they're doing bad. Nor, do bad people go around screaming, "LOOK AT ME. I'm the bad guy!" It just doesn't work like that. Which, makes me question the world in how we think and decipher things like this.

From my 19 years of living on this sheltered world, and (most likely the results of) being born into as the younger girl of an older brother... I've learned that the only way to have your voice heard, is to be persuasive.

The art of the debate, I guess.

As lame as that sounds, I feel like the most successful people in the world are those who are the most articulate. And also, the people who can give out the most compliments. In the most humble and sincere way possible, whether truthfully or not. Charismatic. Which leads to being forgiven.

Most of the time, I argue because I know I'm right and I want the other side to see it, logically. (Cocky right?) But, to me, I feel like it's regressive if people make nice and just accept what people say. You know, I don't see the point of being apathetic, when you can clearly have an opinion, etc.

I think it's a love/hate type of thing. People don't want to be told when they're doing something wrong. But, they don't want to be seen in the eyes of others, as being wrong.

It's a messed up crazy thing for me to try to put my foot into. But whatever. It's done.

I feel as if you've hit rock bottom when you just don't care anymore.
Is that right?

...

If I don't get Dean's List this semester I might actually kill myself.

we won't stop until somebody calls the cops.

Life's been such a hot mess. I feel like I'm in one of those drug commercials. You know the one where the guy is standing in his bedroom and everything is happening around him. He's in a daze, but somehow, life is still going on.

That's me right now.

Half the crap that's going on around me seems worthless for me to bother with. I'm barely managing to get anything worth-while done. I just want to get the fuck out of Lehigh and be done with college. I'm so over it.

I just don't care. No. Screw that. I do care. But. It's complicated??

Also what the hell is up with Lehigh being ranked #1 in the country in Accounting? Thanks a lot. That helps me so much with my Finance and SCM degree. Ugh, why do I suck at life? More importantly, why do I suck so much at accounting. I mean, there would absolutely be no question to me majoring in it, if I was good. It wouldn't phase me a bit even if I absolutely hated it. #1 ranking is still a #1 ranking. But nope. Not only do I hate it, I also suck at it. haha I guess that solves my question of ever being an accounting major. Boo on not getting my $45+ grand worth of a Lehigh business degree.

killing in the name of love.

I've just been contemplating a bunch of things. Friends. Decisions. Life. I don't know. I've just been so on edge about everything... even though there's more important things that I should be focusing on. I mean, I guess in the greater scheme of things, they're more important. But when does my sanity come before something else? But, that's just it... the stupid stuff is getting me sidetracked.

What to do? I miss my friends. Boys are lame. I'm so sick of Lehigh. I have to start eating coke sandwiches.

Uggh. just upset. about. life.

makes us harder, faster, better, stronger.

It's been one year. And it's been terrible without you. Sometimes I'll be walking to class or laying in bed right before going to bed and you just cross my mind and I become overwhelmed with grief. Or maybe I'll see something that reminds me of us. Or when I'm shopping I'll see something I think you'd like. Or fresh flowers. That's a big one. I love you and miss you terribly. I know you're looking over me and I just hope someday that I'll be able to see you again.

RIP 3/16/07

you're going away in late September.

Spring Break was interesting... It was especially nice since I had nothing to worry about during the week. Seriously though, it was actually a break. A real break. Thanks Lehigh. It’s the only thing you’ve done right this semester. No exams or projects to fret about.

Spring Break has taught me a lot:

1. Pomegranate martinis consumed in large amounts are a no-no.
2. Stick to ordering crab when dinning at a restaurant named Joe’s Crab Shack.
3. Greek Life follows you everywhere. “I love my AOPi?”
4. The solution to heat rashes and sunburn.,, “Just put some ice on it!!”
5. Drunk Scrabble is probably the best game ever.
6. Broadway is the fifth highest tourist attraction in NYC besides the Statue of Liberty.
7. Never trust anyone with the initials A.T. with handling large glass bottles of alcohol. FAIL.
8. Never take for granted any weather temperature over 65 degrees F.
   

This semester seems to be flying by so quickly. I don’t know whether I’m excited or a little sad. Let’s just make it a good one.

Until the next time.

you smile like a saint, but you curse like a sailor.

Let's be honest, it's already hitting me. I really can't stay in Pennsylvania for more than 2 months without going insane. I'm already bored. Sean says it's the drugs that's gotten me so jittery. I say it's just the glamor I so desperately seek in my life ...in Bethlehem, PA.

I'm starting to think that I'm never going to find someone who I'm going be in love with for the rest of my life. I think that ship has sailed. I fall out of love just as easy as I fall into it.

I say, "I love you" way too much that it's lost all it's meaning. I say it to people I've just met for 5 seconds. And I don't see the difference between true true love and a love for a best friend. It hasn't been distinguishable to me. I prefer friends over lovers. And I've manged to make all my possible suitors into my very very good friends.

I like it when people like me. But when someone makes a move, I just avoid them and run like crazy in the opposite direction... like I'm not interested. And then I get confused to why I'm not in a serious relationship. Maybe my views on relationships are written all over my face.

Spring break. Please.

viva forever, I'll be waiting.

These past few days have been so amazing. Theta stuff has been pretty sweet for the most part. I won't get into it but for those who are aware of Greek life, I got the best little ever!! And to top off a wonderful week, Saturday was our date party which consisted of the usual drunkfest. I love being absolutely ridiculous. I love my friends and uggh loved my little black number.

Sunday wasn't important. Whatevs.

And Monday. Monday was a religious experience aka I went to the Spice Girls reunion concert. We got a limo, wore dresss and drank wine on the ride there. It was perfect. Had AMAZING seats and basically relived my childhood. I cried haha. In the beginning. It was it wonderful. To be that close to V.Becks or any of them. I mean, seriously we where like in 4th/5th grade and they where a phenomenon. It was so worth it. Beautiful.

Another thing I just have to mention that puts a damp on my fantastic past week. My Macbook like died. So I basically got a brand new one and I have no songs on it anymore. Seriously, I spent all of this winter break fixing up my iTunes Library. And I didn't even think to back it up. I suck. Balls.

This update sucks. Sorry. I have so much to say. I can't even bother to put it all together. Promise a real entry soon. Stay warm and dry.

jenny was a friend of mine.

Things seem pretty good lately. Sorry for the lack of blogging. I've been busy. Busy wasting my life away.

But, really. I've figured something out.

I used to only base my happiness on how thin my stomach felt and what the scale read and stuff and well, I mean now it's just a mix of things. I surround with people who make me happy... like v. happy. And that's good and all.

I'm sure.

But, I'm like, ugh. I'm all happy and stuff, but truthfully/deep down inside, I'm really not at all.

I need to lose like 30 lbs before I can feel any good about myself.
Get skinny or die trying, right?

Until next time-- perhaps, a few pounds lighter.

'cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know.

Permanent vacation or am I just running away from life. Peter Pan Syndrome. I started spring semester this week so enthusiastically and excited but still subconsciously want to drop out because I can't stay in PA for longer then a month without losing my mind. I consistently search for new friends that are amazing, fun, real, simple and contribute to me being a better person. Life is all about learning (right?) you never stop.

I have a ritual of caring/obsessing way too much about what people think of me, and as a result, end up basically hating myself for every little thing that I do. I absolutely refuse to fail at anything because I'm terrified of letting people see me fuck up. The daydreamer in me is always optimistic, but I'm always consciously aware of reality, and there-lack-of.

I don't trust many people because I hate it when someone has power over me. That's why I act so exclusive half the time. I don't accept new people into my group or whatever. I am always the one who is stubborn and will most likely still be bff with the people I grew up with. I believe in loyalty til death. But it doesn't mean I don't have many acquaintances or people who think they're better friends with me than they really are.

I think my personality is self-destructive. I am able to have everything I want and when things start to fall apart or I don't get what I want... I can't handle it... emotionally, even though from the outside, I seem perfectly collected.

I get way too bored easily. And make really stupid decisions aka I do some really dumb shit. I resort to being out of control--interested in doing things that can get me in trouble. I get bored with life. I just like to amuse myself... and try acid or something. haha

Pure self-hatred.

won't let us waste our lives away.

Now. The first few days aka 5 days of break consisted of me absolutely crashing from my "survive finals diet" of red bull, adderall, and diet coke. I never hit so low from anything before. Ever. It was bad. I basically passed out.

So when I finally got on track, I was slightly more productive. Okay. So you know how I had to get a new MacBook in the beg. of fall semester because I accidentally spilled diet rasberry snapple on my old lappy? Well, I didn't get the chance to upload my music. Anyways, I spent the entire semester with two albums on iTunes. B.Spears' Blackout and Radiohead's In Rainbow. Talk about a diverse collection. (And it explains why B. Spears' is #1 on my last.fm) So I've been trying to sort/upload/update my iTunes library. It's fucking impossible. And I'm being all anal and trying to get the folders by Artist > Albums. Ugh. Whatever, maybe I should just stick to radiohead+b.spears?

But good things: I did a lot of great shopping in a v.short amount of time. I mean, it frightens me how quickly I can drop a grand in a matter of a few stores (3 yesterday). Talent that I'm sure my dad certainly doesn't appreciate. It's just so bad. I love it all. And everything is just so pretty and whenever I walk into Bloomingdales I'm just overwhelmed by beauty. How the counters and the floors just glisten. Beautiful. An admirer of fashion. But, it takes money to make money. Or, atleast, despite the fact, you look good. A.Wintour would approve. And we all know how appearances are so important. But, I really need to learn how to manage my finances.

Nah, I'll save that for next year.