what matters is that you were mine.

So I'm back in New Jersey. So happy. Done with school. Well, except that I'm taking a class over the summer. Whatever. There's so much stuff that I'm looking forward too slash have planned.

1. Get back in shape. No more beer. Or drunk snacking at 3am.
   
2. Fix my iTunes, buy an iPod.
3. Need to go to the city as much as I can and just get lost there.
   
4. SEX AND THE CITY movie!!
   
5. Weeds & Entourage season premiere
6. Start reading again
7. Fly to cali in August to visit some bitches
8. Maintain my tan
9. Play tennis
10. Improve my awesome skills at guitar hero/rock band
    

you're going away in late September.

Spring Break was interesting... It was especially nice since I had nothing to worry about during the week. Seriously though, it was actually a break. A real break. Thanks Lehigh. It’s the only thing you’ve done right this semester. No exams or projects to fret about.

Spring Break has taught me a lot:

1. Pomegranate martinis consumed in large amounts are a no-no.
2. Stick to ordering crab when dinning at a restaurant named Joe’s Crab Shack.
3. Greek Life follows you everywhere. “I love my AOPi?”
4. The solution to heat rashes and sunburn.,, “Just put some ice on it!!”
5. Drunk Scrabble is probably the best game ever.
6. Broadway is the fifth highest tourist attraction in NYC besides the Statue of Liberty.
7. Never trust anyone with the initials A.T. with handling large glass bottles of alcohol. FAIL.
8. Never take for granted any weather temperature over 65 degrees F.
   

This semester seems to be flying by so quickly. I don’t know whether I’m excited or a little sad. Let’s just make it a good one.

Until the next time.

'cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know.

Permanent vacation or am I just running away from life. Peter Pan Syndrome. I started spring semester this week so enthusiastically and excited but still subconsciously want to drop out because I can't stay in PA for longer then a month without losing my mind. I consistently search for new friends that are amazing, fun, real, simple and contribute to me being a better person. Life is all about learning (right?) you never stop.

I have a ritual of caring/obsessing way too much about what people think of me, and as a result, end up basically hating myself for every little thing that I do. I absolutely refuse to fail at anything because I'm terrified of letting people see me fuck up. The daydreamer in me is always optimistic, but I'm always consciously aware of reality, and there-lack-of.

I don't trust many people because I hate it when someone has power over me. That's why I act so exclusive half the time. I don't accept new people into my group or whatever. I am always the one who is stubborn and will most likely still be bff with the people I grew up with. I believe in loyalty til death. But it doesn't mean I don't have many acquaintances or people who think they're better friends with me than they really are.

I think my personality is self-destructive. I am able to have everything I want and when things start to fall apart or I don't get what I want... I can't handle it... emotionally, even though from the outside, I seem perfectly collected.

I get way too bored easily. And make really stupid decisions aka I do some really dumb shit. I resort to being out of control--interested in doing things that can get me in trouble. I get bored with life. I just like to amuse myself... and try acid or something. haha

Pure self-hatred.

mrs. oh my god that girl's shameless.

1. I'm going to be so fucking academic next semester.
2. I'm not going to go out on Thursday nights.
3. I'm going to go to bed earlier, as in 12am.
   
4. I will live in the library.
5. I need to get an internship in the summer.
6. And, I will most likely be taking classes.
7. Fuck me so badly.
8. Oh, and boy sucks.

I went to bed at 12pm today. And I woke up at like 10pm. My sleeping schedule is so fucked up. I love winter break.

ps: Oh and, I love my drunk asshole friends who try to facebook message the boy I like. Not funny. True story.

you can stand under my turkey.

I really enjoy Thanksgiving and even though (for the sake of generalizing) it's lost all meaning, I still manage to sit with my cup of tea, a cigarette (in my dreams, I'm at home), my macbook, and reflect on what I love about my life or the wonderfulness that lessens the horribleness in my life just a little bit.

1. My Uggs- classic short in chocolate. Seriously, the only reason why I love these fucks is because when it's a chilly (usually hungover) morning, I can slip these on and walk to my class. Lehigh is just that much better when you're on my feet. And football games. Well, Lehigh/Laf, you've managed to do your job. Honestly, the marginal utility that I get from you. That satisfaction is worth the $119.95 price.

2. Vanessa and Debra for teaching me the Soulja Boy dance. Honestly, no frat party OR ANY PARTY FOR THAT MATTER is a party without some asshole cranking that shit on loud. Yes, ma'am, I sure would like to "superman that ho."

3. Whowhatweardaily.com Seriously. LOVE this place. I look forward to their newsletters everyday! What they wore esp. I found out that Lilo ows a lot of the same stuff that I own. Plus, Peaches G is my fav. God love yah!

4. Gossip Girl. Blair is UES chic in a heartbeat. I grew up with girls like this. I'm best friends with a Nate, but truthfully I love the assholes. Chuck Bass if my type of guy. You and your scarves tease me. Honestly, I think this is going to be bigger than The O.C. because atleast the writers have a plot to which they can sort of follow. The O.C. was just a huge plot mess. AND HANDS DOWN, THE CLOTHES ARE SO MUCH BETTER ON GG. Plus, it's really cute when you see everyone referring to each other by their initials.

5. Life. And the miraculous privileges and opportunities it offers you. With that said, I leave you with pictures from this past weekend aka Lehigh/Laf.

Gossip Girl is watching,
xoxo j

you can be my new black kate moss tonight.

One of my favorite bloggers, Susana from The Stiletto Effect tagged me to "post 8 facts about yourself/things you love." And obviously you know how I'm never a person to pass up talking about myself... and this is obviously no exception. lol

1. I am absolutely obsessed with Lilo aka Miss. Lindsay Lohan. I don't think there is anyone else living on this world who can look so damn hot with blonde, brunette, black, or red hair. Seriously, she's gorgeous! I fully supported her during her post Mean Girls "plump" and pre "It Girl" party girl to BFFL with Paris and Nicole, her DUI rehabs, and her love for cocaine. Honestly, I will admit that I would trade lives with her in a second. Plus, she has such great fashion and style sense. Ugh. She's just so classy~

2. I've been featured on Mark Hunter's thecobrasnake two times while in California. They are currently my claim to fame slash my greatest achievements to date. Obviously, I'm not being that serious, but it's pretty fucking awesome to be featured on something that has changed the world through the way in which we view entertainment. His work, I believe, has huge influence over fashion and that usually underground aspect of club/scene/LA/NYC/Japan nightlife that most people who aren't a part of, fail to see. In ~that world~ I'm someone completely different than a regular college student. It's pretty fucking ridiculous, and the ecstasy high, isn't that bad either. Being a pretentious LA hipster is ballin'.

3. I am the "perfect cookie cutter rock fan" as told by a random frat boy. I mean, isn't that where you find the most honest opinions of you? When you're standing next to a gin bucket, about to have a chug-off? What a night. Anyways, as intoxicated as I was, I was still highly insulted that he called me that. I mean, music is music, and when someone tells you that the music you like is "so typical" of other people slash everyone else, what are you to say? No I don't go on last.fm, click on similar artist and force myself to listen to those artists because they're widely acclaim. Ew, fuck no. But, this brings me up to something I've been raving about. Radiohead. Most of you guys should know that Radiohead's In Rainbow was a pick your own price download. Honestly the best social experiment ever. Greenwood stated candidly, "It's fun to make people stop for a few seconds and think about what music is worth, that's just an interesting question to ask people." What price do you put on music made by the best band in the world?

4. I hate beer. 'nough said.

5. Bill Watterson is a genius. Calvin and Hobbes is undoubtedly the best comic strip ever. What's said is that there are hundreds of comic strips out there, and maybe like four are actually good. Thankfully, I have his wit and dry humor evidenced on my book shelf. Yes, I have all his collector editions books. Calvin's a smart boy but only chooses to be an asshole. (My kind of man.) What makes Calvin and Hobbes the best is the ability to make you laugh your ass off. It's so honest and relative. Moreover, what makes it fantastic is its ability to evoke emotions that seem so far-fetched from just a simple comic strip. Need proof? Here. I did that with my Macbook really quickly, read across. Pure genius.

6. I wish I was taller. 5'7" to be accurate. As a result, I mastered high-heels in fifth grade. Seriously, four-inch heels are nothing out of the usual. I'm usually that asshole who no matter what occasion, decides to wear heels. See me shopping for groceries (which I so don't) but if you happen to, I'm wearing heels. Please, give me my Manolos or Jimmy Choos any day. Flats are for pussies. And plus, they make your legs look SO sexual. I mean, who really wants to pass up extremely sexy legs? Be warned, I love my shoes.

7. I love giving people nicknames and quoting from movies. Mean Girls is usually the typ. But, anything goes. "Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back?"

8. So lame, I know. But I'm obsessed with blogging. This, is of course, considering I skipped all my classes on Friday and instead, started this entry. And, I've just gotten back from a Corporate Hoes and Ceo's frat party... smoked cloves for the first time (thanks L) and got wicked drunk. Typical. I'm on my Macbook finishing my entry. That's some damn mother effing dedication folks. But you know, I wouldn't have it any other way...

Good night, I really need to pass out.