we won't stop until somebody calls the cops.

Life's been such a hot mess. I feel like I'm in one of those drug commercials. You know the one where the guy is standing in his bedroom and everything is happening around him. He's in a daze, but somehow, life is still going on.

That's me right now.

Half the crap that's going on around me seems worthless for me to bother with. I'm barely managing to get anything worth-while done. I just want to get the fuck out of Lehigh and be done with college. I'm so over it.

I just don't care. No. Screw that. I do care. But. It's complicated??

Also what the hell is up with Lehigh being ranked #1 in the country in Accounting? Thanks a lot. That helps me so much with my Finance and SCM degree. Ugh, why do I suck at life? More importantly, why do I suck so much at accounting. I mean, there would absolutely be no question to me majoring in it, if I was good. It wouldn't phase me a bit even if I absolutely hated it. #1 ranking is still a #1 ranking. But nope. Not only do I hate it, I also suck at it. haha I guess that solves my question of ever being an accounting major. Boo on not getting my $45+ grand worth of a Lehigh business degree.

killing in the name of love.

I've just been contemplating a bunch of things. Friends. Decisions. Life. I don't know. I've just been so on edge about everything... even though there's more important things that I should be focusing on. I mean, I guess in the greater scheme of things, they're more important. But when does my sanity come before something else? But, that's just it... the stupid stuff is getting me sidetracked.

What to do? I miss my friends. Boys are lame. I'm so sick of Lehigh. I have to start eating coke sandwiches.

Uggh. just upset. about. life.

makes us harder, faster, better, stronger.

It's been one year. And it's been terrible without you. Sometimes I'll be walking to class or laying in bed right before going to bed and you just cross my mind and I become overwhelmed with grief. Or maybe I'll see something that reminds me of us. Or when I'm shopping I'll see something I think you'd like. Or fresh flowers. That's a big one. I love you and miss you terribly. I know you're looking over me and I just hope someday that I'll be able to see you again.

RIP 3/16/07

you're going away in late September.

Spring Break was interesting... It was especially nice since I had nothing to worry about during the week. Seriously though, it was actually a break. A real break. Thanks Lehigh. It’s the only thing you’ve done right this semester. No exams or projects to fret about.

Spring Break has taught me a lot:

1. Pomegranate martinis consumed in large amounts are a no-no.
2. Stick to ordering crab when dinning at a restaurant named Joe’s Crab Shack.
3. Greek Life follows you everywhere. “I love my AOPi?”
4. The solution to heat rashes and sunburn.,, “Just put some ice on it!!”
5. Drunk Scrabble is probably the best game ever.
6. Broadway is the fifth highest tourist attraction in NYC besides the Statue of Liberty.
7. Never trust anyone with the initials A.T. with handling large glass bottles of alcohol. FAIL.
8. Never take for granted any weather temperature over 65 degrees F.
   

This semester seems to be flying by so quickly. I don’t know whether I’m excited or a little sad. Let’s just make it a good one.

Until the next time.

you smile like a saint, but you curse like a sailor.

Let's be honest, it's already hitting me. I really can't stay in Pennsylvania for more than 2 months without going insane. I'm already bored. Sean says it's the drugs that's gotten me so jittery. I say it's just the glamor I so desperately seek in my life ...in Bethlehem, PA.

I'm starting to think that I'm never going to find someone who I'm going be in love with for the rest of my life. I think that ship has sailed. I fall out of love just as easy as I fall into it.

I say, "I love you" way too much that it's lost all it's meaning. I say it to people I've just met for 5 seconds. And I don't see the difference between true true love and a love for a best friend. It hasn't been distinguishable to me. I prefer friends over lovers. And I've manged to make all my possible suitors into my very very good friends.

I like it when people like me. But when someone makes a move, I just avoid them and run like crazy in the opposite direction... like I'm not interested. And then I get confused to why I'm not in a serious relationship. Maybe my views on relationships are written all over my face.

Spring break. Please.

viva forever, I'll be waiting.

These past few days have been so amazing. Theta stuff has been pretty sweet for the most part. I won't get into it but for those who are aware of Greek life, I got the best little ever!! And to top off a wonderful week, Saturday was our date party which consisted of the usual drunkfest. I love being absolutely ridiculous. I love my friends and uggh loved my little black number.

Sunday wasn't important. Whatevs.

And Monday. Monday was a religious experience aka I went to the Spice Girls reunion concert. We got a limo, wore dresss and drank wine on the ride there. It was perfect. Had AMAZING seats and basically relived my childhood. I cried haha. In the beginning. It was it wonderful. To be that close to V.Becks or any of them. I mean, seriously we where like in 4th/5th grade and they where a phenomenon. It was so worth it. Beautiful.

Another thing I just have to mention that puts a damp on my fantastic past week. My Macbook like died. So I basically got a brand new one and I have no songs on it anymore. Seriously, I spent all of this winter break fixing up my iTunes Library. And I didn't even think to back it up. I suck. Balls.

This update sucks. Sorry. I have so much to say. I can't even bother to put it all together. Promise a real entry soon. Stay warm and dry.

jenny was a friend of mine.

Things seem pretty good lately. Sorry for the lack of blogging. I've been busy. Busy wasting my life away.

But, really. I've figured something out.

I used to only base my happiness on how thin my stomach felt and what the scale read and stuff and well, I mean now it's just a mix of things. I surround with people who make me happy... like v. happy. And that's good and all.

I'm sure.

But, I'm like, ugh. I'm all happy and stuff, but truthfully/deep down inside, I'm really not at all.

I need to lose like 30 lbs before I can feel any good about myself.
Get skinny or die trying, right?

Until next time-- perhaps, a few pounds lighter.