supersize the wisdom, hold the cholesterol.

Another day, attention ladies and gentlemen.... I'm one year older (and not far away from) graduating college, getting a job, moving out, and dare I say it, falling in love? haha. How lame and sentimental of me. But, you see, this is what becoming ~*19*~ has impart me with. I have become filled with wisdom. Actually, this concept is just taking a toll on my anxiety. Better not drink tonight.

I don't know, maybe my childhood or these past few years of me growing up has shaken me up. But in like 4 years or so I will be moving out on my own, paying my own bills and with much doubt, SUCCESSFULLY LEARN TO SAVE. What's up with that reality? This whole independent thing already is making me feel now, more than ever, how dependent I am to my parents.

Today, surprisingly enough was also my last day of my first job ever. I mean, yes it was only for the summer but still it was quite an experience. I think there's just stuff like this that you can't even put a price. An education can't replace that. Real life experiences, making mistakes and learning from them. And how ironic it was that on my birthday-- I learned something quite extraordinary....

Don't cheat.
Don't cheat yourself.
Don't cheat others.
Don't cheat life.
And most importantly, don't fake it.

Happy Birthday jess, ps: you do realize you better work your ass off these next few years. The real world's a bitch.

meet me where 8th and ocean cross.

Can I even begin to digest no pun intended how much has happened in just 4 weeks? Sorry for the long hiatus, I've been too busyLAZY! You can thank me throwing up this entire morning for actually signing onto my laptop. But I've been meaning to update... you know when something occurs and all you think is, "Where's my wireless connection? I need to put this incredibly wise, head scratcher post up."

I've gone to thinking that all this "fashion is what defines you/find your own style blahblah" … all that Vogue and TeenCosmo "style on a budget" concept that any girl can have is a load of bs. Honestly, how can an 18 year old find any practicality in fashion let alone finding your personal style? No to Abercrombie tops and Bebe capris. Maybe I'm overlooking something major and this is all just a mistake, but how can I manage to find my style and actually execute and put it together when something I want for my look is a 200 plus Marc by Marc Jacobs blouse? Yes, I'll admit, maybe it has something to do with brand snobbery, but regardless, it's your own style. And most likely, your parent's money.

Now, my whole practicality argument. Fashion for me is just not practical. Style on a budget is impossible. And, I'm not saying that I want to fill my closets up with Chanel and Phillip Lim. But it's just so hypocritical to say that to be stylish, you've got to shell out so much money. I yearn for a pair of boots that cost 290 only to which I can’t wear in college because it will be a bitch to walk to class in and even so, going out on weekends is a no-no because no one would dare wear Blahniks to a college frat party.

So where am I stuck?

get off the bandwagon.

So much for an enjoyable 4th of July weekend. haha There's nothing like getting bugspray on an entire side of your louis vuitton purse to make you freak the shit out, post on thepurseforum, and drive to 7-11 at 12am in hopes of finding non-alcoholic baby wipes.

Just for future reference, they don't sell it


... oh, and Shoprite opens at 7am.

give me something to believe in.

Sometimes I regret not going to school in nyc. Especially when it comes to some great only in New York experiences. --fashion department internship at Interview magazine... or Cosmopolitan? Wow. Seriously, I've built my door of opportunities, I'm just thousands of miles away from the building.

In these past few days, I've managed to do exceptionaly well on my Rutgers statistics midterm, make a record amount in commission at Nordstrom and be on Lehigh's dean's list for the spring 07 semester. Life is looking good despite the fact that I've scumbled to my own demons. But that's more than you need to know.

If I can make it there, I'm gonna make it anywhere.

someone who can bring me back to you.

I started crying/tearing up while working at Nordstrom today. I saw a little Asian girl with her parents and her grandmother sitting by the cafe eating. I mean, I was just watching their every action and slowly becoming so insanely jealous of that little baby. Creepy, I know, but I miss my grandmother so much.

she tore my feelings like I had none.

I was literally having the best day ever today. I mean, work was slow, but I was entertained. Long behold, mother came and we went shopping... a tiffany necklace, lock and key piece totaling $600+, I was on a high. The adrenaline was rushing through my entire body as I went to my favorite stores and picked out several items that I really liked. I was in my happy place. This is, of course, was the cherry on top to the possibility of me getting my favorite Chanel bag for 20% off. That incredible joyous feeling was still lingering from this morning.

Then I lost my cellphone, and the panic begins.
Honestly, people have great stories about losing their cells, forgetting it in a taxi club after coming back from Roxy. But, NO. I so happen to leave it somewhere in the Short Hills Mall... that is after searching through a pile of trash in the backroom of Au Bon Pain.

I am not a happy camper.

What goes around comes back around.

you and me could change the world.

This whole thing about me getting a job and taking courses is not turning out as smoothly as I originally planned. But I'm not going to bitch about that nonsense.

Nordstrom is fun, commission based sales is a bitch yet quite exciting. I'd rather do personal shopping but I have already started to lease my talents out... $20/hour and I'll revamp your entire wardrobe or find the perfect ensemble for you to wear to somewhere ~*fancy*~!

Social life is keep-keepkeeping alive... hah I barely have anytime to relax, let alone see anyone but I'm getting there. My loverly ki, sm, and others this past weekend. It was fun. And obvi the daily sex & the city gang. Okies that will do... I'm way to bothered to actually upload/post pictures.

Lazy.

ps: Oh and it kinda bugs me that Lily Allen thinks she's ugly/not pretty. Yeah, just bugs me a litle bit...

pps: Shameless promotion, JUNE 6 = Nordstrom Women + Children sale. GO GO GO!