he was a rebel without a cause.

It really sucks when your friends have to turn to your blog to figure out what's going on in your life. Sorry about that. School is like killing/raping/murdering me right now... it's examination week and I manage to focus my time (ie LAST NIGHT) on spring break destinations. Seriously. I've pretty much screwed up this semester and am at the point where I' m a lost cause. Right now, I'm just walking to class, sitting there and trying to stay awake, going back to my house, sleeping, and smoking my lungs out.

You know how people are like, "you usually change your major atleast once" while in school or whatever. Well, I laughed that bs off because I thought I knew since I was little what I wanted to do with my life... and apparently at Lehigh. Double major in Finance and Supply Chain Mgt. Intern at Neimans/Saks. Do editoral work for Condé Nast. Be a buyer for Bergdorf. So basically what I want to do with my life... doesn't really match up with the $45grand I'm spending at Lehigh for my degree. I mean, SCM kinda (and I'm pushing that) has to deal with buying. But there's a big dif between fashion forecasting and predicting how much steel you need for a Boeing airplane.

I might just do Supply Chain Mgt and Journalism. Or communication. I don't know yet. But, I need the Finance major or that $45grand goes for nothing. SCM is pretty much bs. It just pisses me off that I still have to suffer through shit like accounting. I mean, yes, everyone needs a general idea of what accounting is, but I spend an entire day on 5 problems. It's kind of ridiculous.

Or maybe, I should just drop out of school.
Move to NYC or LA.
Go around town on a bike and/or public transportation.
Live off my parents' money.
Do charity work by day.
At night
Smoke and become a hipster.
Get ridiculously skinny like old times by not eating.
That will be my contribution to mankind.
I'll have so much time to update my blog.

... it sure beats reading about "lehigh"

Ugh. I have to figure out my spring schedule. Not. Fun.

give me something to believe in.

Sometimes I regret not going to school in nyc. Especially when it comes to some great only in New York experiences. --fashion department internship at Interview magazine... or Cosmopolitan? Wow. Seriously, I've built my door of opportunities, I'm just thousands of miles away from the building.

In these past few days, I've managed to do exceptionaly well on my Rutgers statistics midterm, make a record amount in commission at Nordstrom and be on Lehigh's dean's list for the spring 07 semester. Life is looking good despite the fact that I've scumbled to my own demons. But that's more than you need to know.

If I can make it there, I'm gonna make it anywhere.

or did she ever really matter?

So today I had my last cup of Starbucks. I really am going to stop drinking coffee because 1) I've either become immune to the caffeine or 2) it just screws me up.

I had to force myself to go to class today. I love how I just wear sweats now, so badass right? My room's a mess and I'm too lazy actually to do laundry. It's not turn into a huge bet to see how long it will last. I guess I'll do it tomorrow. Lately I've become way overstressed/scheduled. The whole p-thing is taking it's toll on me. I just hate not being in control over stuff I want to do and etc.

Fuck not attending college in NYC... I want to go to Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week so damn badly but I can't miss classes. What sucks even more is that the shows I want to see are all during the weekdays (ie: de la Renta 2/5, Zac Posen 2/8). And Marc Jacobs is sopposed to be doing a private showing, to which I'll be missing out. Completely not cool. We'll see scheduling. And there's also the whole PresDay weekend: Boston, MA or Bethlehem, PA?